People who know me know me know that I will exhaust all my energy in order to find and maintain a balance in everything I am involved with. In my life currently, that means most of my balancing act goes toward ensuring I am as fair as a Wifey and Mommy as I could possibly ever be. According to me, of course, this is my top quality. Then again, it has its downfalls like… around 8:15pm nearly every night I’ve quite literally exhausted every ounce of energy I have in me required for that Mommy Patience badge of honor I wear.
So come 8:16pm, you could bet that I’m lashing out with Big Mean Mom Eyes, Huffing and Puffing until the boys get the picture that it’s time to record scratch the rowdiness.
Maybe this isn’t the greatest parenting skill I have but I’m not sure I’ll really ever change it because for my keiki… it works. Plain and Simple. I don’t hide it; our pala (Hawai’i Pidgin for living room) windows have sheer curtains and, because I live on ‘Oahu and most houses are super close together, I can usually hear my Buddhist neighbor from my bedroom chanting throughout the day. I can see and hear things outside my home and for the most part, the inside of our home is only mildly contained in privacy. We have nothing to hide.
The parenting point is: I’ve never thought to feel either “free” or “restricted” to parent in my way or any other certain way, and I’ve never hid it. Apparently I missed the memo about feeling so self-entitled that we as moms are allowed to publicly shame other’s parenting ideas/ skills.
I’m not oblivious though.
I know that there hot buttons amongst parents but I when I typed in “Top Parenting Hot Topics” I was floored. Some of the topics on these lists are shameful. I’m sure there may be SOME interesting fact or ethical undertone to some of these more embarrassing topics but come ON. I thought once you have a kid you start to realize A Momma’s Gott Do What A Momma’s Gotta Do! (Speaking of Ethics adding it to my learning list.)
Now I’m looking back on our Fourth of July day at Kahala Beach and wonder if the moms there looked at me or maybe even forced themselves not to look at me when I popped my sons little wet booty with a quick but effective slap for throwing a bucket full of water at one of their kids. They kept saying it’s ok but I didn’t really know that I should care enough to let what they wanted from me to interrupt the lesson i was teaching my son.
Now, those parents all around had some pretty good vibes so I doubt they judged me at all but what if that day different parents showed up?
Would I have been in jail right now because someone else made the decision for me that my parenting skill for teaching safety and respect regarding a bucket full of water and another toddlers face is —dun-dun-duuuun— flawed?
Love and Safety – that’s it, thats all we parents should seriously care about when it comes to others parenting skills. Is the child loved and is the child safe? You bet your A$$ that I have called the cops to tattle-tale on parents with keiki running back and forth in a moving vehicle.
Other than that, as long as you’re doing your best to love and keep your keiki safe, I GOT YOU MOMMA!
Here are some of the SMDH topics I’ve come across
1. When to stop breastfeeding
2. Deciding to keep with your career after becoming a mom
4. How far apart to have keiki
5. Rewarding with allowance
6. Big kids in strollers
7. How old a child is in months versus years
8. When exactly to give baby solid food…
Gotta stop there or my head just might spin. If you’re a momma who’s got other momma’s backs, please join us at Keiki Pa’ani 🙂
And of course, A Hui Hou and leave your comments below! 😉